Dear Friends,
After four years as your rabbi, it is hard to realize that we are coming to the end of our time together. Last Shabbat was my last Starbucks Shabbat teaching. Tonight is my last young families service. Tomorrow will be the end of the Mussar class. Lunch and Learn ends next Thursday. Next Shabbat will be my final Shabbat as your rabbi. (As I'm moving on the 30th, I'll likely be in attendance on the 29th, and I look forward to hearing Rabbi Sarit's words of Torah then). All good things must come to an end.
Ever since I became clear that it was time for me to leave, I've been focused on the question of what does it mean to transition well. In today's world, many people are burning bridges as they walk out the door of their employments. To be fair there are times when employees have legitimate complaints about their employers. Nevertheless, I believe in living life with as much grace, kindness, integrity, and class as possible.
In that regard, I have been in contact with Rabbi Sarit a number of times these last few months, and I'm looking forward to sharing some time with her (and Elana) this coming week. Often when rabbis leave synagogues there is no overlap and little communication between successor and predecessor. I'm glad the board has arranged time for us to share thoughts and for me to answer any questions I can before I leave.
So what is there to do before I leave?
Last Sunday and this Sunday we have conversions at the shul, which are always inspiring times when we welcome new people into the Jewish faith. With Sally Rosenberg and Geo's help I've been working hard to upgrade and beautify our mikvah. A few days ago I helped put a mezuzah up on a home. This week and next week (and beyond) I'm working with Micah Unowsky to prepare for his Bar Mitzvah. With Rose Morrison's help, I've been working hard to order and hang yahrzeit plaques. Sadly, today there is a funeral to attend for Sally Kesselman, a long-time Beth Sholom member. God-willing, today will be the last time I'll be out at our cemetery.
The last few months I have discovered a number of people buried in our cemetery who never received grave markers. We've addressed a number of them, and there are a few individuals who we sadly have no information on. We could use your help - if you know who Florence Farley, Alexandre Kogan, Belle Solomon, Ann Schneider, and Yolanda Hassid were, we would like to be in touch with their next of kin to address this situation (as these are sometimes delicate conversations, I ask that if you know their relatives, please just send me their information so I can be in touch directly). Rose Ross, Herb Slovis and our cemetery team have been invaluable help in this regard. I'm glad we've been able to make significant progress on this already. Regardless of how anyone may have lived or died, I believe strongly that everyone deserves a grave marker (though interestingly enough I just spoke with someone yesterday who told me that her parents insisted that no marker be at their graves. In that case, we will certainly respect their wishes, even if I myself am uncomfortable with their choice). Before I leave, I'll make sure that our cemetery spreadsheet is up to date and that everyone involved will have contact information for those families still working on their stones.
There are a few people I feel I owe an apology for moments when I was less than my best self.
I've reached out to a few, and have a few more to go. I'd like to finish my time as clean-hearted as possible. If you feel like there is something for us to address before I leave, please email or call immediately and let me know. I don't want any of us holding on to grudges or complaints unnecessarily. Life's too short to hold on to emotional baggage.
I am very excited about our bringing a sofer in on Tuesday. He'll be checking our Torahs scrolls and seeing what work needs to be done. This has been on my goal list for a long while, and I'm very grateful to Steve Abramowitz for sponsoring the sofer's visit. Please join us Tuesday night at 7 pm for an exciting look into the work of writing and repairing Torah scrolls. All ages welcome. The event is free and open to the community.
I had hoped to have time to call each of our members personally to bid farewell. Alas, that is not possible. If you'd like to be in touch before I go, please do. I welcome your calls and emails.
I'll have a lot more to say next Shabbat morning about my years at Beth Sholom.
In the meantime, there is still work for me to do, and I'm honored to do so. I'll also share more next week about what I'll be doing next and how to stay in touch with me if you'd like.
I know that the office is collecting stories and tributes about my work here.
It would mean a great deal to me if you would send in any thought you have about our time together. I'd also love any good pictures you might have of me.
I think that for me, leaving well means cleaning up what I can before I go, giving as much support to Rabbi Sarit, Elana, Geo and our leadership as they'd like, and then leaving with satisfaction of a job well-done knowing that I've given all I can to Beth Sholom, and that it's in a better place for my having been your rabbi (and I am for certain in a better place for knowing each of you).
And then my job is to step back and let you and Rabbi Sarit continue on your journey together.
I'll be wishing you well from a distance, and will enjoy any opportunities to continue connecting when possible.
Of course, I suppose I do need to pack up my office (and home) too.
If anyone has boxes (and/or packing tape) you don't need, I will gladly take them, and if you have time to spare and are willing to help spend an hour or more at shul or at home helping me pack up, any and all assistance is greatly appreciated.
So my friends, there is still more to do here. I hope to see as many of you as I can before I leave.
As always it's an honor to have you in our community.
May we all be blessed with a Shabbat of kindness and of peace.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Ilan
