One of the things I value most about Judaism is the way the calendrical cycle offers us opportunities to embrace various emotional realities. Tomorrow, we begin a period on the calendar known as “The Three Weeks,” which concludes on Tisha b’Av. As we climb towards Tisha b’Av, the date commemorating the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, we are asked to cultivate a type of sadness. We are asked to sink our souls into the pain of our people’s past, and in doing so, I believe that we are given permission to feel global sadness not limited to the past. So often we attempt to shy away from sad things, we tell ourselves to cheer up, we try to make someone laugh when they’re having a hard time. But Judaism, and especially these Three Weeks, says not so fast. Sometimes, we have to let ourselves embrace feelings of sadness and grieve, acknowledging the things that are experiencing destruction.
And yet, like everything, we have to cultivate a balance. The downside of embracing the sadness of the Three Weeks to the fullest extent is that it’s so easy to feel the weight of the world’s challenges bearing down on our shoulders. Sometimes it can all feel like too much. So of course, Judaism accounts for this, too. Despite our tradition saying we shouldn’t eat meat, a food of luxury, during the Three Weeks, on Shabbat, we are permitted. And even though we are told that during the Three Weeks we should not dance and sing joyfully, on Shabbat, we put the mourning aside and we embrace joyous song and dance.
There is an understanding here of the need to allow ourselves to engage in mourning practices, to feel the sadness of the world, and also, to not let it consume our existence. We have to allow ourselves to feel sadness, but we don’t always have to be sad. We have to be real with ourselves about the pain of the world, but we also have to allow ourselves to feel joy.
During my maternity leave, Abe and I would listen to music while feeding the babies, and we would often sing along to Aly Halpert’s Loosen.
Loosen, loosen, baby You don't have to carry the weight of the world In your muscles and bones Let go, let go, let go Holy Breath and Holy Name Will You ease, will You ease this pain?
This Torah feels so real and so relevant right now. We enter The Three Weeks tomorrow with a full embrace of the world’s deficits, and, as Halpert suggests, we don’t have to carry the weight of the world in our muscles and bones. Take it on, feel it deeply, and let it go. Let the pain and sadness inspire you but allow yourself to emerge from it. I pray that these upcoming weeks are ones that feel real. I pray that they are weeks when we grapple with that which is destroyed to feel it in its fullness, and I pray that it is one where holy breath eases our pain.
