This week, in Parashat Shemini, after a series of instructions for how the sacrifices will be carried out, Moshe commands Aharon to approach the altar. Then, the text tells us that Aharon approached the altar. Rashi wonders why Moshe had to command Aharon specifically to do so. After all of these instructions about the sacrifice, and that he is the High Priest, afterall, why wouldn’t Aharon simply assume his role and approach the altar?
Rashi teaches that Aharon must have been embarrassed and fearful of approaching the altar of God. He wasn’t sure, despite all of the buildup so far, if it was his place, if he was overstepping, or if perhaps he was acting from a place of entitlement. He didn’t want to be overly assertive if it wasn't his place. So, Rashi imagines that Moshe responded to him, “What are you ashamed of?! It is for this exact purpose that you were created.”
Noam Elimelekh, one of the Hasidic masters, explains that this hesitance is precisely what made Aharon fitting for the role. The fact that he was ashamed, unsure if it was his place to approach the altar - this is what made him the perfect spiritual leader and worthy of approaching the altar. The extension of this teaching, following Rashi’s commentary, is that we may be hesitant and withdrawn from even the very purpose that we serve on this earth. We might feel drawn to something but question if we are worthy. We may be called to the altar but not sure if it’s our place. Our sense of uneasiness about ourselves is sometimes exactly the part of ourselves that we need to lean into because it can lead us to greater heights. Because it is this hesitance that can help us arrive at a sense of purpose with humility and gratitude. It is the questioning that keeps us from the corrosiveness of entitlement and allows us to approach the altar of purpose in our own lives with holiness.
This teaching advocates for the need to create balance in our lives of humility and assertiveness, decisiveness of where we want to serve paired with the understanding that we may never fully be prepared. It reminds us that reluctance doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t take on a mission, it means that we can do so with humility. Each of us has an altar to which we are called. Some of us may be aware of what the altar is, and some of us may still be waiting to know what to approach. We may feel prepared or we may feel completely unworthy. I pray that wherever we are on this journey, we allow ourselves to approach whatever is calling to us, our purpose, with humility.
