We learned recently that we have voles in our yard (don’t worry, we’ve got it taken care of). The expert I spoke with walked me through how to get them out of our yard, but he told me that first we had to see where the holes were and how many of them there were. So that night, Abe and I methodically went through the backyard to see. We started in the middle, walking towards the fence, and then each turned around, carefully looking down, row by row. Once Abe and I were on the lookout for holes, we started seeing more of them. We began paying closer attention and noticed holes, even small ones, we wouldn’t have seen if we hadn’t been actively looking. Abe shouted across the lawn to me, “this feels appropriate for Elul.”
We often ignore the holes in ourselves if we aren’t looking for them. If we choose to not examine who we are, we fail to see the ways that we can grow. Rabbi Mordechai Yosef Leiner of Ishbitz, known as the Mei haShiloach, explains that “a person can only uphold the teachings of the Torah when they have stumbled in them.” A person makes mistakes and then learns from them. We grow through the process of paying attention to the holes, not ignoring them. Our life is our Torah. It teaches us and we cycle through it, finding our way, learning all the time. The holes in our lives are part of us, and they instruct us. Our mistakes are a part of us, and of course, we wouldn’t be where we are without them.
But if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s often far more comfortable to ignore them, or perhaps to not even try and look for them. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away, and paying attention to them doesn’t make them bigger - it allows them to become our teachers.The impulse to not pay attention to the holes is real. We don’t know what will be on the other side. We are sometimes afraid of what we might find if we dig into the hole. Will we fall into the abyss? Will there be anything to hold me if it hurts when I hit the bottom?
Our task this Elul, now three weeks from Rosh Hashanah, is to look for the holes. And when we find them, I hope we can muster the courage to step in. Maybe, we’ll fall. That’s OK. This is an individual process, but one that we engage in as a part of community - with others supporting us. We will uphold the teachings that our lives offer us when we stumble in them. Our life is our Torah, and it will continue to teach us, as long as we allow it to be our teacher.
Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Sarit
We will NOT be having services at shul this Shabbat. I hope you will join tonight at 6:15 for a bit of schmoozing followed by Hachanah l’Shabbat (Preparing for Shabbat) at 6:30. Click that link to connect on Zoom! Please click here for the Youtube playlist with davening and teaching I’ve prepared for this Shabbat (it will be uploaded before Shabbat).
Please check out our website for some Shabbat-related learning resources.
